Dear Mom and Dad,
As you may have noticed I have been a bit difficult lately. And I can’t really seem to let you know why.
If I had a larger vocabulary and the ability to self-reflect as you do, I would tell you that my ego is beginning to structure itself and needs a lot of room to grow. You see, I need a strong, healthy ego for a lot of reasons. For instance, I need to become an individual, with some sense of self-reliance. And I need to find a way to deal with all of you out there. I am also realizing for the first time that you can’t make all my fear go away. Sometimes you don’t even know I am afraid – in fact, I don’t always know it.
I guess a lot of these fears aren’t very real to anyone but me. Still, it is a big and dangerous world (remember how I cut my finger on the broken glass last week?) And some of the things I see on TV are really scary. In fact just watching TV all alone makes me feel small and insignificant most of the time.
Even though I don’t always remember my dreams at night, they can be pretty scary. And the next day, I can be difficult to handle as I try to find a away to build myself up against them. A lot of time a hug helps but even that might scare me once in a while.
Laughing helps a lot! I usually forget all about my fears when I am laughing.
You know, I kinda understand that adults get angry and frustrated sometimes but that scares me more than anything; it makes it seem like the person I rely on most is scared too.
Finally, I would tell you, if I could, that I need lots of time alone (in a safe place.) I need to explore my little world and conquer its little dangers without you. This builds my confidence and I can actually feel like a very brave person sometimes.
As long as I can find you if I get really scared.
Gosh, Mom and Dad, I wish I could say all this to you instead of crying and throwing things and shouting “NO!” and clinging to you. But I can’t and that just makes me more frustrated. I hope you can just figure it all out for both of us.
Sincerely,
Your little two year old.(Written at the request of my daughter, Datura, who is lovingly raising my two-year old grandson, Jacob.)